a moment like this (think kelly clarkson...)

Yesterday morning I took Josh’s dog, Buddy, out for a walk. He’s a huge dog; half German shepherd and half Rhodesian ridgeback. He has a thunderous bark, but is totally a scaredy-cat. I’ve been house sitting for Josh, while he’s been in Arusha, for the past 5 days. It’s been great having more space, making my own food, watching House DVD’s, and hanging out with his dog and cat. While I totally miss the kids in my host family and am excited to go back there today, I really enjoy the area of Dodoma that Josh’s house is in. It’s a little quieter than Area C (where I live) and the houses are more spread out. Buddy and I walked up a road that leaves town, towards a hill covered in cell phone towers. We cut over a bit and ended up passing a woman’s house in the Home Based Care program at the church. Her name is Tatu Ally and I’ve been to her house a few times. Her story is in a previous post if you wish to read. She wasn’t home, but her youngest daughter was playing out front. She recognized me and was excited to see me.

None of this is particularly significant, except what happened after. Nothing happened, actually. It was just a moment. I had a moment. I’m not totally sure how to describe it, but it was one of those times where you just feel totally happy. Like, where you are so glad to be in exactly that place, at exactly that time, doing exactly what you are doing. For me, it was wearing my comfy linen pants and hoodie. It was taking a morning walk with a sweet, friendly dog. It was the coffee cup in hand, the early sun shining on me, the vibrant purple flowers nearby, the adorable toddler waving and smiling at me in the distance. I just felt good; at peace. It is moments like these that make me so sad to be leaving Tanzania in less than two weeks. I don’t feel ready to go. I don’t want to. But I can’t honestly justify staying longer…to do what? It would be totally selfish, I wouldn’t be staying to do anything or contribute in any sort of way besides the fact of just being here, which is what I want to do.

That moment yesterday morning, along with others, have begun to make me realize just how much I’ve grown to love this country, these people, this land. It’s not without its challenges…that’s for damn sure. But I think the challenges, the struggles, and the difficulties are part of what makes it so worth it to be here. All this has really had me thinking about working overseas in the future. I think it’s something I really want to do. I think, first, I need to pick a field, get educated, experienced, and skilled in it. And then take the show on the road with something of value to offer. The big question is whether or not psychology/counselling/social work will allow me to do that. I don’t know how all that stuff works cross-culturally or across language barriers. That’s something I need to really consider, and if that’s not a line of work that can be useful abroad, then a change in direction may be in order. I feel like that’s a little too much to be thinking of at the moment, but it’ll definitely be on my mind when I get home. Which is soon. Crazy! Just in closing, I hope those of you who are reading this know that I, of course, will be ecstatic and overjoyed to see you and hug you and be near you again. While I may not want to leave this place yet, I will be very happy to be with good friends again, sharing life with you.